The World As We Know It

9:47pm: A Last Reply of the Lost Lamb
The Last Reply

May this find you in good health if it ever does find you.  You have provided where i have lacked, you have excused my many faults.  You have put up with more than anyone I know and I just want to thank you.  Despite that thank you can never be enough for the   amount I put you through it must. And even though we may never speak again, I only wish to thank you for being my best friend.

1:51am: I really hate...
stupid Live journal updates/LJspotlight being on my Friends Page....in an effort to streamline things and make everything simpler and easier to navigate you have successfully made checking my friends pages more difficult....

12:38am: I think its funny...
how im a night owl and stay up until the early hours of the morning and the two nights i went to bed at reasonable times(10 and 11 respectively)  this week i get phone calls at 3 and 4 in the morning......

3:50am: Damn....
its 4 oclock in the morning.....no use in going to bed now....since I wont get up..I guess the best i can hope for is an afternoon nap after my exam.....Boo poor time management

6:47pm: So this is how it goes....
two more exams.........then i get to return home on Friday.....hells yeah

8:23pm: Rounding the end....
95% done with pledgeship then all i have is two papers and a math exam....hell yeah......

5:04am: Ahhhh the addarol is tapering off!!! Im going to crash hardcore......Oh well.....

8:33pm: So....
shit seems to finally be coming together....slowly but surely.......thank god for caffeine......ssri's, good ole' government sanctioned amphetamines and as lake puts it brothership.....hahaha.........i havnt slept in 4 days......well with the exception of day 2 for 3 hours and 20 minutes today in jacobs car before we stopped and i practicly fell out onto the ground of the parking lot.......maybe ill get some sleep this weekend.....hopefully.....if the papers stop........jesus

10:34pm: And “Snow,” she said.“Outside, it’s starting to snow.
Im in the home stretch.....just a little bit left.....proposal due Friday, paper due Monday and
one due Tuesday and luau will be this Friday and Saturday....if i can make it to next Tuesday ill be alright.


January

4:16am: Damn......
its 4 in the morning.....this week through next Tuesday is going to suck...........gahhhhh kill me now

3:34pm: New Years
Another Year gone.  This last year was probably the best one yet......it finished out my senior year....which was great....i worked when i wanted to, had plenty of money, pizza night every Monday night trivia night every Wednsday and parties on fridays and saturdays...football games...hanging at the pool hall I could go on and on.  I had an awesome girlfriend for the majority of it and i didn't die in a horrible car wreck as everyone has always insisted i would.....wooo...hahaha.......but as this year ends i should look towards the future....this year my number one resolution is to quit smoking......Two,  I plan to go to the gym more.....i would like to get like it was for the previous two years where i workout 3 to 5 days a week and feel good again......third i want to learn to stop settling......ive always settled when it came to girlfriends and its got to stop....with the exception of Chelsea Ive always settled....and it never works....but thats about it.....other than that lifes good and i dont anything else that i feel like changing at the moment.

3:01am: sweeney todd....
was awesome to say the least.....

7:11pm: At the bottom of The bottle-Part One(The concordance of many daydreams)
    The room was spinning.  He faded away in a drunken state of self pity.  His life had been a joke. He smirked at the thought of that.  He had never known why but that thought had amused him in a sick demented way.  The pills were starting to take effect, he remembered the title of an old Alkaline Trio song that hit to the accord of the action that he had just committed. He smirked to himself again.  This time there wasn't going to be a hellish hangover to follow the morning after, his keys on his chain and the 22 on his lap would make sure of that.  It struck him suddenly and he thought back to what brought him to this point.  It all appeared before him nestled in the corner of the dank room that reeked of alcohol and smoke.  Apparitions of his past appeared before him almost lifelike but too distant to be real.  A tear formed in his left eye.  Just a tear, nothing more as he saw her beautiful face again.  Her smile soon faded as another body formed, it was his. He was thinner and more attractive back then despite his occasional habit to light up a cigg when he was stressed out.  He had that everlasting goofy smirk on his face but this time it had a trace of sadness to it.  He watched as the ghostly reflection of the earlier self mouthed the words that made her cry.  His head slumped and another tear came down his cheek.  He pulled his head back up again to reflect.  His phone across the room rang.  He stared, but only for a second.  He was slightly curious to who it was but then again not really.  Their were only a few who it could be ever since he moved away.  His parents? Probobly not.  They had held his decision to move in contempt and he had been purged from existence in the eyes of the family. The Clock rolled over to 3 as he lie in his dark corner. His Work? Naw, Marty's fat ass would have been asleep hours ago. He started to nod off in his intoxicated state just as the apparitions appeared to him again.....

7:17pm: Writer's Block: Sunday Songs

It's kinda cliché but Sunday Morning by No Doubt....it was a good start and a good way to reflect back as i got coffee and got in my  truck.......before switching over to Georgia state's album 88 to listen to there Sunday morning reggae program which made everything go smooth whether it be the ticket i got on the way to work or the double i used to work on Sunday......

10:23pm: The Great thing about being broke.....
Being on a tight income is something new to me.   I've always been blessed with a great income(not saying what im getting now is bad).  With 200 to 300 dollars in tips to blow each week plus 150 on a paycheck ive always had to much to spend but now im at college i have a much much tighter budget.  But I've learned to deal with it.  I can manage on what i have buying half a tank of gas each week and going out to eat off campus once a week is cool.  Having such a tighter income has been nice though....ive learned to manage what I have and spend thriftly.  Ive learned that i can save on gas by charging kids on campus money to take them to the gas station to buy them cigarettes.  But most of all ive learned to enjoy what i already have.  Spending a Saturday night in your dorm talking to your girlfriend and watching tv instead spending 50 or 60 bucks going out to dinner and seeing a movie is just as enjoyable if not more.  So to that I say enjoy the simpilier things in life and enjoy what you already have, for that may be better than whats not free.

10:00pm: An Effigy of who i was....
Whoever it was that said that people don't change is full of bullshit.  It's that simple.  For one I've changed.  And looking back at my closest friends back in Atlanta I realize alot of them have changed as well.  One dropped his drug habit.  Another who has been smoking for longer than I have and has kicked the habit and stepped up to the plate and is doing things with his life...But then again the one person I used to rely on for support, the one person who i  used to consider closest to me and an example of strength has fell into a pit of alcoholism and self destruction.  And now back to me.  The self-centered attention whore that I am.ha...i feel stronger.  I feel self confident.  I'm still kind if you deserve my kindness but im now longer the little bitch that falls to my knees and kiss ass anytime anyone needs a pick me up.....I've become more aggressive....Ive become slightly more studious.....but then again this is college.......Life has been looking good.  I finally see a future. My life has meaning. My life has depth.  I feel real now and I could tell you what I plan to do in life.  No more indecision.  No more uncertainty.  No more living moment to moment.  I have reason.  I can say now I have reason in life.  I still have flaws and things i wish i could change but know ones perfect.  Plus these things need to be taken one at a time, so I have some work to do.  So this in effigy to who I was,  I hope it burns in hell.

1:15am: So this is the world as we know it.....
So....i decided id start recording every thought, wish and dream that i feel into an online journal again.  Well maybe not, on second thought ill probably just keep most of it to myself.  The thought of being able to say what I want to say to whoever I wish has always been something I've cherished.  The discrepancy to tell what I wanted to who I wanted has always been a personal right I've chosen to exercise.  And so, this is essentially me full circle or at least what I wish to reveal.  This is the world as we know it,  or at least from my point of view...